This is lovely experience is from my first week of the big kid WODs . We joined a crossfit gym and spent the first month in an On Ramp class which is a class that introduces you to the basic movements of crossfit. Once the intro class was completed, I was launched into a regular crossfit class. Even though I have been doing crossfit on my own for over a year, I was terrified of my week with the big kids.

Thankfully my first WOD (Work out of the Day) wasn’t terrible – It was rounds of wall balls & sumo dead lift high pull with kettle bells. Minus the part where I racked myself with the kettle bell in round five (yes, you read that right), it was a pretty decent first WOD.

What I really want to share is the next day’s WOD. I almost didn’t go because Josh wasn’t able to join me and I was terrified of my going to my second WOD with out my security blanket. Plus it was a different class time – so none of the people I met the previous day were there.

Let’s do this.

But I talked myself into because Josh isn’t my motivation working out. I am. I had to do it for me. So I got myself all pumped up that I was going to go on my own and conquer the WOD.  Then I looked at the website and found that day’s WOD and immediately changed my mind. What I read was the following: warm up with working on the snatch and pull ups followed by a run of 200m,400m, and 600m, with rests in between. Let me tell you a secret – I can’t do a pull up, I can barely snatch just the barbell, and I HATE RUNNING. HATE IT.

Never mind, let’s not.

I spent the rest of the morning stewing over it. I really didn’t want to go. I wouldn’t be good at any of the exercises we would be doing. I came in last place on the WOD the day before, and I would probably come in last on this WOD. Josh wouldn’t be there. I wouldn’t know anyone. Oh, and I HATE RUNNING. HATE IT.

Well, ok. Fine.

But the more I mulled it over, the more I reflected on again why I was doing crossfit. I was doing it for me. It wasn’t just about becoming stronger physically, but a stronger person and sometimes that includes facing my fears. The saying is very true in crossfit that you’re only as strong as your weakest link.  And let me tell you running, pull ups, and snatches are definitely some of my weakest links. So I got myself pumped up again and headed to the gym.

What have I done!

I arrived at the gym, looked at the white board and realized I had made the worst decision of my life. When I looked at the website, I missed the part where it said “three rounds” which means I had to do the run of 200, 400, 600, three times. And in case you forgot. I HATE RUNNING. HATE IT. All of my fears came true. Josh wasn’t there, I didn’t know anyone in the class, I was the worst at all the movements, and I came dead last in the WOD.

I can’t even begin to tell you how miserably humiliating that WOD was. First, no one talked to me in the class other than the coach. But I was kind of ok with it at that point. I wanted to just melt into the wall and no one know that I was there. And then there was the running. I hated it so much. I legitimately don’t know how my legs kept moving. I hadn’t ran in months, and running more than a mile? Probably not since last fall. Seriously. The only thing that kept me moving was I kept singing over and over again that stupid country song,

“if you’re going through hell, keep on going, face that fire, walk (or run) right through it”

and let me tell you, this was a hell of its own. But, I never walked in a round – although I was going so slow by the end, that an elderly mall walker probably would have passed me.

But most importantly I finished that WOD.

So what did I learn from one of the most miserable hour of my life? Here are a few lessons I learned about myself and crossfit from that day.

1. Don’t avoid things just because it’s difficult

2. If you suck at a movement, you won’t get better by avoiding it.

3. You don’t wake up and are magically in shape and have master all the movements, it takes time and effort and sometimes that means being last in WODs for a while.

4. Don’t lose focus of why you’re doing this.

5. Embrace the suck. It’s just going to be hell and you just have to get through it.

6. Sometimes, to get through hell, you just have to sing a stupid country song.

“It looks way too intense. I’ll stick to the elliptical” “I’ve never picked up a barbell” “I don’t want to look like one of those body builders”

Since starting crossfit, I have heard plenty of these comments from other ladies when I talk with them about crossfit. And being completely honest – I’m sure I said every one of those comments about two years ago. I am going to address some of the fears that women often have about crossfit and share with you a few of my opinions as to why women should give crossfit a chance and not allow fear to make the decision for them.

Fear #1 – “It looks way too intense for me.”

Yup that’s me!

You’re right. Crossfit is intense. You walk into a crossfit gym and you see people running around jumping on boxes, doing pull ups, climbing rope, throwing a barbell over their head. For a newcomer, it’s a lot to take in. Especially if you’re use to a nice walk on a treadmill with a little tv screen showing Judge Judy. I can’t really remember a distinct point of when I got over this fear. I think it was more of out of desperation that I joined crossfit. I saw that my 20 minutes on an elliptical wasn’t doing much to combat the 25 pounds I had gain. I saw the result that crossfit gave and decided it was worth it to embrace the intensity if it meant getting different results. Crossfit is as intense as you make it. If you don’t push yourself, you’ll get, meh results. But if you decide you want it badly enough, you’ll be intense about it. But intensity doesn’t mean you have to be performing at competition level. Crossfit is very scaleable. Meaning, your coach isn’t going expect you to be able to do 135lb deadlifts on the first day. You may only do deadlifts with a barbell till you work up your strength to do more weight. There is a substitute or scaled version of pretty much every movement you’ll come across. But the goal is to push yourself with where you’re at with what you can do.

Fear #2 – “I’ve never picked up a barbell” – or insert any number of movements like wall balls, burpees, or tire flips.

It can be overwhelming. I still walk into the gym, read the board and have to ask, “Hey, what’s a ____”

Well, and there’s that reason too.

First, I want to address the actual fear of a barbell. It is a real fear. I’ve been there. I was terrified mostly because I had never been taught and didn’t even know where to start. There is a lot to learn – a clean, clean & jerk, snatch, deadlift, and so on. But if you join a crossfit box, the coach will work with you to learn them. I had a great husband that worked with me to help me learn the basics and then the coach refined my movements. I also watched a lot of videos and read articles about the different lifts. It’s just like starting a new semester of school – it’s all foreign at the beginning, but by the end, you can pass the final test. Don’t let the fear of the unknown keep you from trying. I personally fell in LOVE with Olympic lifting. I still can’t do even moderately competitive weights and I’m still learning good form, but I absolutely love it. Words can’t really capture the feeling of knowing you have four deadlifts left and you don’t have any more to give, but you dig down deep from somewhere and pull out a strength you didn’t know you had and you lift that freakin barbell off the ground and slam it down on the last rep and walk away from it like a boss knowing you just owned that.

The second aspect of this fear of the unknown really comes down to pride or insecurity. They manifest themselves sometimes at the same time. We’re afraid of being the new kid. We don’t want to be the one who doesn’t know how to do something. We don’t want to come in last. We don’t want to look like an idiot flailing around trying to get a handstand. We have to set aside our pride and humble ourselves to the fact that we’re students learning and sometimes that comes with failing. We have to face our insecurities and tell ourselves it’s worth it to be the new kid so we can accomplish something greater. It’s also important to remember every single person in that gym has been exactly where you are. Everyone had to start at square one. Granted, some may come in with previous experience, but for the most part – that guy you see sailing through double unders, probably whipped himself pretty good with the rope when he was learning. Instead of being intimidated, look at someone like that as inspiration that with time and dedication, you can get there to.

Fear #3 – “I don’t want to look like one of those body builders”

See, just some normal, awesome ladies that do crossfit

This one makes me cringe and want to slap sense into a girl more than any other comment. This mentality is so hilarious to me. (Yes, I am legitimately making fun of you if you think this. But it’s ok, you’ll get over it) It’s humorous to me that we think we are going to waltz into the gym 20 pounds over weight and strut out with bulging muscles. Those body builders look like that because they dedicate their life to getting that body. You’re not going to do a few push ups a week and suddenly wake up with massive man shoulders. So chill out. Now yes, there are some lady crossfit competitors that look quite intimidating but, if you’re just starting out, you’re not going to end up looking like that with out a ridiculous amount of dedication. I can guarantee that when you get your first two pack, a little definition in your arms, and your jeans are little lose, you won’t be crying about being afraid of getting man shoulders.

What happens when you don’t let fear make the decision for you

The biggest thing I have gained from overcoming some of these fears with crossfit is not just defined muscles and losing weight. Continually practicing doing something despite being afraid and insecure has grown an inner confidence that I never had before. I have gained a mental toughness that I never knew was possible. I have a strength inside of me that isn’t just physical. I’ve learned to not walk away from situations in life just because it’s not easy. Fear doesn’t scare me much any more, but it inspires me to keep on keeping on.

For those ladies who have been intrigued by crossfit, I hope you don’t let fear make the decision for you. I have met some awesome ladies at my gym and we all support each other through out the work out. It’s a great community and a incredible opportunity to push yourself past fear to accomplish something you never thought possible.