This is lovely experience is from my first week of the big kid WODs . We joined a crossfit gym and spent the first month in an On Ramp class which is a class that introduces you to the basic movements of crossfit. Once the intro class was completed, I was launched into a regular crossfit class. Even though I have been doing crossfit on my own for over a year, I was terrified of my week with the big kids.

Thankfully my first WOD (Work out of the Day) wasn’t terrible – It was rounds of wall balls & sumo dead lift high pull with kettle bells. Minus the part where I racked myself with the kettle bell in round five (yes, you read that right), it was a pretty decent first WOD.

What I really want to share is the next day’s WOD. I almost didn’t go because Josh wasn’t able to join me and I was terrified of my going to my second WOD with out my security blanket. Plus it was a different class time – so none of the people I met the previous day were there.

Let’s do this.

But I talked myself into because Josh isn’t my motivation working out. I am. I had to do it for me. So I got myself all pumped up that I was going to go on my own and conquer the WOD.  Then I looked at the website and found that day’s WOD and immediately changed my mind. What I read was the following: warm up with working on the snatch and pull ups followed by a run of 200m,400m, and 600m, with rests in between. Let me tell you a secret – I can’t do a pull up, I can barely snatch just the barbell, and I HATE RUNNING. HATE IT.

Never mind, let’s not.

I spent the rest of the morning stewing over it. I really didn’t want to go. I wouldn’t be good at any of the exercises we would be doing. I came in last place on the WOD the day before, and I would probably come in last on this WOD. Josh wouldn’t be there. I wouldn’t know anyone. Oh, and I HATE RUNNING. HATE IT.

Well, ok. Fine.

But the more I mulled it over, the more I reflected on again why I was doing crossfit. I was doing it for me. It wasn’t just about becoming stronger physically, but a stronger person and sometimes that includes facing my fears. The saying is very true in crossfit that you’re only as strong as your weakest link.  And let me tell you running, pull ups, and snatches are definitely some of my weakest links. So I got myself pumped up again and headed to the gym.

What have I done!

I arrived at the gym, looked at the white board and realized I had made the worst decision of my life. When I looked at the website, I missed the part where it said “three rounds” which means I had to do the run of 200, 400, 600, three times. And in case you forgot. I HATE RUNNING. HATE IT. All of my fears came true. Josh wasn’t there, I didn’t know anyone in the class, I was the worst at all the movements, and I came dead last in the WOD.

I can’t even begin to tell you how miserably humiliating that WOD was. First, no one talked to me in the class other than the coach. But I was kind of ok with it at that point. I wanted to just melt into the wall and no one know that I was there. And then there was the running. I hated it so much. I legitimately don’t know how my legs kept moving. I hadn’t ran in months, and running more than a mile? Probably not since last fall. Seriously. The only thing that kept me moving was I kept singing over and over again that stupid country song,

“if you’re going through hell, keep on going, face that fire, walk (or run) right through it”

and let me tell you, this was a hell of its own. But, I never walked in a round – although I was going so slow by the end, that an elderly mall walker probably would have passed me.

But most importantly I finished that WOD.

So what did I learn from one of the most miserable hour of my life? Here are a few lessons I learned about myself and crossfit from that day.

1. Don’t avoid things just because it’s difficult

2. If you suck at a movement, you won’t get better by avoiding it.

3. You don’t wake up and are magically in shape and have master all the movements, it takes time and effort and sometimes that means being last in WODs for a while.

4. Don’t lose focus of why you’re doing this.

5. Embrace the suck. It’s just going to be hell and you just have to get through it.

6. Sometimes, to get through hell, you just have to sing a stupid country song.